“One day a day will come, when the idea of living is scarier than dying.”


With this doggerel in his farewell letter, the 92 year old Marinus Deurloo said goodbye to his beloved.
He had said it before, but no one had realised Deurloo was dead serious about it.

On January 2000 he kept his word, and hung himself in his shed behind the house.

As usual he had gone for milk that very morning. The milkman did not understand when Deurloo said: ‘If I don’t see you again, take good care!’
His cleaning lady had served pancakes with coffee that morning. She also did not suspect anything when Deurloo handed over his purse:’You may keep it all, I don’t need it anymore.’


This film tries to unveil the motives of the old but still perfectly healthy man. And how his deed affected his loved ones.



2002 / video / 52 mins.


photography                  Peter Brugman n.s.c.

sound                            Tom d’Angremond

                                      Gert Jan Miedema

editing                            Luce van de Weg

network                          HUMAN